


everything is a lot

by ghostcroc



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Has Feelings, M/M, Movie Night, No Beta read we die like men, Not Beta Read, Panic Attacks, Pre-Relationship, Roman has a panic attack, Roman is scared of the dark, gimme scared roman CONTENT, logan just loves him kinda a lot okay, not even proofread once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:49:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26903173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostcroc/pseuds/ghostcroc
Summary: It's time for a horror movie night.The others seem to have forgotten Roman's fear of the dark.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 20
Kudos: 137





	everything is a lot

**Author's Note:**

> this fic came to me in the early hours, and i only just got around to completing it. it has not even been proofread so if there's a typo that kinda sucks oops.  
> WARNINGS:  
> cursing, panic attack, uhh fear of the dark, food mention, more cursing
> 
> work title from everything is a lot by will wood and the tapeworms.

A horror movie.  
Virgil had chosen a horror movie.

Roman felt the excited grin slide off his face a little, though he quickly plastered it back on, nodding in approval.  
God, he hated horror movies.  
He could take the scary faces, or even the screams.  
But something about all the blood, the tense, chilling escalation of tension that the movies always did, it-  
He let out a slow breath.

And settled back into the space between Patton and Logan on the couch.  
It would be fine.

“Do we have to watch a dumb horror movie though?” Roman complained eventually, a little on the quiet side.  
Patton gave him a look.   
“Now, kiddo, it’s Virgil’s choice, you had your turn last week.” he reminded him, giving him a little shoulder pat.

Virgil didn’t seem too affronted. In fact, he smirked.   
“Aw, you scared, Princey?”  
Roman’s face flushed, and opened his mouth to respond, but Patton beat him to it.  
“Now, don’t go making fun of him, Virge, it’s family night! You gotta be nice,” he smiled, “and besides, there’s nothing wrong with being scared.” he turned his gaze to Roman then, eyes far too soft and it just felt like pity.  
Roman frowned, scoffing.   
“Of course I’m not afraid of some pathetic little movie,” he declared loudly, avoiding their eyes. “Just start the darn thing already.”

Virgil did so, and as Patton went to grab another blanket, Roman adamantly ignored the watchful gaze from the end of the couch.

It was going to be fine.  
He hadn’t seen a movie like this in years, the fear will have faded, and he can just watch it like everyone else.

Yet for some reason, it still felt like something would go wrong.  
He pulled his blanket a little further over his legs, pulling his knees to his chest.

The opening credits rolled, and Roman’s tense muscles relaxed just a little. This movie didn’t look so bad, and he was surrounded by his friends. He was fine, it was-  
“Oops, almost forgot. Can’t have a horror movie with the lights on.” Virgil spoke, getting up.

The room was plunged into darkness except from the dim television screen, and Roman’s stomach dropped to his feet.  
Oh, god.

He stiffened immediately, breath stuttering.  
No, no, he hated the dark, this wasn’t-  
Trying in desperation to smother his fear, he slowly breathed out.  
No freaking out, this is movie night.

He looked quickly around, to check if anyone had noticed his… blunder.  
Virgil was huddling into the far corner, eyes locked onto the screen with a spark of excitement.  
Patton was just finishing arranging his extra blanket.  
Logan was setting down his book.  
It was fine.

Roman swallowed, and looked back to the movie, resting his chin on his knees.  
It was FINE.  
As long as he- as long as he didn’t look into the dark.  
It was fine.

He managed to watch the screen for fifteen minutes, carefully controlling his breathing.  
His shoulders were tensed, and his feet were pulled as far up as possible so as to avoid hanging over the edge of the couch.

Then, he swore he saw something move.  
His eyes darted to the staircase.  
There are so many shadows, there are monsters lurking there, he knew-  
He tightened his grip around his legs.  
‘It’s in your imagination, Roman,’ he lectured himself, swallowing.

He couldn’t help it when he glanced over there again, chest tightening drastically.  
One of the shapes was gone.

Oh, god. Oh god, oh god, ohgodohgod-

Roman squeezed his eyes shut, biting his lip.   
If he kept looking at the inside of his eyelids, maybe it would convince him that the darkness wasn’t really there.  
As his breath shuddered in his chest, he knew that it wasn’t exactly working.

Fuck. His eyes were shut, he hadn’t been watching.  
All of the creatures were probably surrounding them now, just waiting to strike.

Don’t kill me, don’t kill me, don’t kill me, don’t-

A whine involuntarily slipped past his throat, eyes stinging, but it couldn’t reasonably be heard over the deafening television.  
God, it was so loud.

So, so loud, like it was pounding every sound into his skull.  
Stop, stop it, stopstopstopstopstopSTOP!  
He lifted his shaking hands to cover his ears, feeling his eyes water.

It was so loud, it crawled into the spaces between his fingers, scratched at his eardrums, hammered into his head until all he could register was his uncontrollable need for it to STOP.

He was scarcely breathing at all now, tiny rattling puffs of air being the only inhalation.  
Fuck, fuckfuck, fuck, nothing’s working, it was loud and dark, so dark, and dark and LOUD-

A pain filled scream erupted from the speakers, and he let out a sob, tears dripping down his cheeks and hand shooting out for something, anything, to provide comfort.

His fingers brushed against someone else’s.

He held on tighter than he could ever have imagined.  
Through his panicked haze, he felt the hand try to pull away, and he whimpered loudly, hiccupping. Please, please stay, pleasepleasepleaseplease-

The cool fingers tightened around his, and somewhere amongst the rushing whirling terror of his own head, he was incredibly grateful.  
Fuck, he couldn’t breathe-

Thick air felt like it was filling into his head, shoving itself inside like cotton and pounding at the inner lining of his skull in a crazed rhythm. His chest burned harshly, only further reminding him of his plight.  
Fucking BREATHE ROMAN, you IDIOT, people are looking-

Soft pressure pushed against his right palm, and Oh, mr cold hands was trying to comfort him. That… That was better.  
The hand was using its thumb to gently caress Roman’s now, and he squeezed his eyes shut tighter, concentrating as hard as he could.  
You’re fine, Roman, the dark isn’t even scary… Just… focus on the hand.  
A fiery, rattling breath tore from his lungs, and he sat up fully, clutching the silky fabric of his shirt with his spare hand. He fought desperately to take another, swaying in his seat as he trembled.

“-man? Roman, are you hearing me?” a low, distant voice murmured.  
He squeezed the hand tight and nodded rapidly, suddenly wanting to sob all over again. He was fine, it’s fine, someone’s here-

“Roman, I’m going to need you to open your eyes, is that alright?” the silky voice spoke, and the hand enclasped in his rubbed circles into his palm soothingly.

He whined, squishing his eyelids shut so tight a kaleidoscope of swirls and stars assaulted his vision.  
There were monsters out there. It was dark.

“There are no monsters, Roman, and the light has been turned back on. I am sat beside you on the couch and Patton and Virgil are at the doorway to the kitchen. I promise.”

Roman paused, swallowing and trying to breathe through his nose. In.... Out…  
He opened his eyes without giving himself a chance to back out, and-

Logan sat in front of him, his oval little face peering down concernedly at him.  
His hand held Roman’s tightly. Roman inhaled slowly, and let it out again in a shaky breath, taking time to examine his surroundings.  
Just like he’d promised, the lights were back on, and just like he’d promised, the other two were at the kitchen entrance, peeking around the doorframe with worry etched onto their features.  
Logan told the truth.

Roman felt his lip wobble once again, and without warning, he dove into Logan’s arms, beginning to cry in earnest.

He could hear the man’s “oof-” of surprise like an echo as he pressed his face into Logan’s chest, arms clutching him like he could never let him go.  
He helped.  
He… saw.  
And he helped.

“M’so sorry, di-didn’t mean to ruin it-!” he wailed, face unbearably crumpled into an ugly sob as he rubbed his head onto the side’s shoulder.

Logan stroked his hair gently, replying with a matter-of-fact tone. “You didn’t ruin anything. We never intended to subject you to anything that could have caused distress, especially to this degree.”

From Roman’s view atop Logan’s shoulder, he could see Virgil and Patton both nodding vigorously, looking incredibly guilty. He sniffed, and it sounded thick and miserable.

“Yeah, Ro…” Virgil added, worrying his lip between his teeth as he stepped forward. “I literally totally forgot you didn’t like the dark, and that was shitty of me. I’m really sorry.”

Roman huffed wetly, and felt a smile come onto his face.  
“How’re you g’nna make it up t’me?” he croaked, voice stuffy and uneven from the recent events.  
Patton joined their circle this time, eyes wide and sad, though his voice was cheery as ever. “Disney marathon?” he suggested with a little smile.

“Disney marathon.” Roman hummed back, leaning into Logan.

He fell fast asleep soon after they reached the halfway point of mulan, eyelids drooping and body being too warm and tired to stay awake. He was curled up with far too many blankets, Virgil yawning at the television screen and Patton munching on the leftover cookie treats they brought out.

Logan hadn’t let go of his hand.

**Author's Note:**

> i don't know what to think about this one, please leave opinions in a comment if you'd like.


End file.
